吳依玫

想分享一個我一直記在心裡的小故事：
某次上課時，教授談到一群人：他們曾經受過傷，傷口癒合後雖留下疤痕，也學會讓自己麻木、壓抑感受，以避免再次受傷。
這樣的保護方式很有效，甚至讓他們在人生中表現得很好，穩定、能幹、甚至成功。
只是心裡總有一些隱隱的不快樂、不滿足，或者說不出口的孤單。

那時我心裡想：「這樣其實也不算壞啊，生活至少順利。」
但後來我看到了那像是一場魔鬼的交易，當我們選擇不去感覺，的確就不再痛了，但也因此慢慢失去了感受快樂、感受愛與連結的能力。

我後來慢慢理解了這種保護是我們為了生存、為了維持那個“我很堅強”的樣子所做的選擇。
只是這樣的堅強有時也會讓我們更孤單。
我們太習慣努力撐在那邊，也擔心一旦鬆懈了就不再是那個被信任、被需要的自己。

但即使你一直很堅強，也可以讓自己偶爾休息一下。
即使你習慣照顧別人，也可以在需要的時候被別人接住。
你在意的形象並不會因此變調，你依然是那個有能力、有本事的你，只是你也值得被理解、被陪伴。


There’s a sentence from my graduate professor that I often return to:
“So they choose to stay numb, have no feelings to avoid pain.
It’s a devil’s bargain. You won’t be painful, but you will never be happy again.”

That line stayed with me because I often meet people who live quietly inside that bargain.
They are thoughtful, capable, and deeply responsible.
They’ve learned to stay in control, to keep emotions at a distance, to move forward by avoiding what might hurt.
Over time, that becomes a way of living: withdrawn, inhibited, and subtly defended. Not because they’re weak, but because they’ve survived.

And yet, beneath the surface, there’s often a sense of disconnection. A quiet unhappiness. A feeling that something essential is missing, but just hard to name.

In my sessions, I don’t push or analyze a lot.
I offer a safe and calm space where it’s okay to pause, to soften, to feel again. Just bit by bit, in your own pace.

Even those of us who want to be strong can find people who are okay with us taking help from them, without it changing their view of how strong we are.